I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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