what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize