Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
