i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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