Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
