we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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