Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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