is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
