I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
