why didn't you poke me back
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Come on in and take your pants off
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