what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
