I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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