Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
