at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
