living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
