Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
