I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
