party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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