That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
