i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
When are your genitals available?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
