First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
honey bunches of taint.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
