The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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