C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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