You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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