It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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