HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
