dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
