Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
