is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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