Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
