no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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