just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
