Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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