he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
