What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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