I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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