She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We need to get me chipped asap
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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