My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He did a backflip because drugs
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