So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
