i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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