i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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