Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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