He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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