Ambien. No doubt about it.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
