i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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