Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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