fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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