Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
