This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
