My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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