This girl is more easily done than said...
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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