Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i think i have two assholes
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
