she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
