OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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