I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
It was confusing and full of hummus
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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