He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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