my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
